The Blessing of a Doula during our Miscarriage

Janine SchullerWhy I’ve chosen to share this very personal story:

Miscarriages are still very much a taboo subject in many countries.  Women suffering in silence and how many feel their bodies have let them down.  I know as I’ve have had 2 miscarriages in 11 months.  Even though I am a healer and understand learnings from challenges and soul contracts on this earth, I felt the pain and anger with myself and frustration with the world.  But I refuse to be silent as I share my story with the hope that it helps other women going through similar situations.  Through my vulnerability of sharing I find my healing and strength and if even if 1 other women’s healing process starts, I’ve achieved something.

 

 

Will and Janine photoA little bit about our story: 

I met my partner Will at the age of 42 and we knew this was it – we were destined to be together.  We started discussing kids very early on in our relationship, by 7 months we had moved in together and 2 months later we were pregnant.  It was a miracle as I was told it highly unlikely I’d ever fall pregnant.  Sadly in January 2018 we had an early miscarriage.  I was 9 weeks pregnant when my suspicions were confirmed and after almost 2 weeks of following hospital protocols it was confirmed our baby never developed a heartbeat and we were booked in for a DNC.   We took a break from trying for a baby to heal and by end of August we were pregnant again.

We were over the moon, this was going to be it, and we were finally going to be parents.

 

 

Baby Scan 13 weeksOur 2nd Pregnancy:

Our baby had a lovely strong heartbeat at both the 7 and 9 week stage and as scared as I still was, I was starting to relax a bit more.  By 9 weeks I was prescribed Cariban tablets for extreme vomiting and 24/7 morning sickness were I was practically bed ridden.

At our 12 week scan we saw our baby’s heartbeat again, but this time I asked them to check the NT (nuchal translucency, which can flag any concerns with Downs Syndrome).  I wanted this due to the risk with my age (almost 44) and to get support at an early stage if need be.  Normal fluid is 3 /3.5mm and ours was 5.5mm.  We immediately had a Harmony Test sent off to the UK.  The following week we had our Booking appointment at 13 weeks 2 days and we saw our baby’s heartbeat again.  The next day the hospital called confirming the Harmony Test results had arrived and we were scheduled in the following morning.

That Friday the Dr confirmed our baby BOY had Downs Syndrome.  We took a few days to digest this information, but we were fine with this.  We just wanted to welcome our baby boy into this world.  We knew we were strong individuals and a strong loving couple who were fully capable of raising out special baby boy.

The following week at 14 weeks 2 days we were back at the clinic to receive results for more blood tests.  Out of the blue I asked to see the baby’s heartbeat.  Sadly our baby wasn’t moving and the there was no heartbeat.  In a state and heartbroken we were sent to the hospital for validation.

I just couldn’t believe we had lost another baby.  The hospital confirmed that measurements showed the baby had passed at 13 weeks 4 days (the day after we saw his heartbeat the week before, the same day the hospital called to say they had our Harmony Test results).

 

 

Aine DoulaWhy we chose a Doula:

I’m very fortunate to know Aine Ni Chuirrin from West Coast Doulas and I had already requested her services for the birth of our baby.  She helped me so much with the difficulty of being diagnosed with Hyperemesis (and the need of Cariban), with support and tips when I was weak.  She was there through our Harmony Test results with words of encouragement.  Sometimes she was there for me before I even knew I needed her support.

My partner and I are very connected and close and through my 1st miscarriage I could see and feel his pain as he watched me going through physical and emotional pain.

As I was 15 weeks 2 days pregnant and our baby was almost 14 weeks in size, I had to birth him and this was very overwhelming for me.  I knew this too would have a big impact on Will and so I know we needed Aine to hold space and support both of us.

It was the best decision we ever made!!

 

 

Doulas hospital kitHow our Doula helped us through our miscarriage:

Aine arrived and helped me settle in.  She arrived with a bag of stuff – she had hot water bottles and a flask of boiling water to help with the cramps and for comfort.  She had my favourite oils to hand which she placed in a diffuser.  The smells calmed and uplifted me just when I needed them.  She had suggested to Will he pack in my favourite blanket and pillow and something that had his scent on it.  It started feeling less like a hospital and more homely.  When the cramps started she was rubbing my feet with lovely smelling oils to calm me and she reminded me to focus on my breathing.  She had me sipping water when needed and when we were right in the thick of it and I was burning up she even had a hand held fan to cool me down.  She was there for Will when he needed her, she kept him calm and helped him soothe me.  My placenta wouldn’t come and we were trying everything to avoid surgery, she even had a Homoeopathy in Childbirth kit to aid with that.

She knew when to walk out the room to give Will and I space (when it was time to hold the baby) and just to be together.  And she was there right till the end, I mean till I returned from surgery and was back in my bed.  She kept Will calm till I returned.

There is no way our experience could have been so special and less traumatic if it wasn’t for our Doula.  For that we are eternally thankful to her for sharing her gift with us.

 

 

west coast doula flyerHospitals and Doula’s:

This is a service that should, but sadly isn’t, advertised in most hospitals.  I strongly feel this needs to change.  Now if you asked if you could have a Doula present at a miscarriage or birth, they don’t object at all.  I think Aine was the first Doula the midwives and staff had worked alongside in the hospital we were at.  I’m hoping they noticed the impact she had on our experience and start promoting this service.  I hope the Doula’s in Ireland push and promote in hospitals as it’s invaluable.

 

I believe things will change and most people will start to know what a Doula is and how they are a gift not only to us women, but our partners too.  You don’t have to be spiritual to have a Doula present, a Doula has very practical experience that helps you and your partner stay more relaxed during the process.

 

 

 

lady holding sparklerThank you Aine, and thank you West Coast Doula’s, for uniting to nurture women and men through the hardship of miscarriages or the joys of birth.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  With miscarriages sadly being more common in our society, it’s times like this that we need the extra support.

Gentle Warrior 4 Week Xmas Challenge: Week 4 – To ME from ME

 

There’s many a reason Xmas is also referred to as the “silly season”.  With a massive errand list of gifts to buy, food to buy and prepare, house preparations before the family arrives…… and that’s just to name a few…..  Where is there time to treat ourselves?

 

It’s equally important to STOP and enjoy some pampering and self-love. 

 

Yes, I know life is busy and for many you are juggling kids, work, husband, etc.  This is why I have 3 ideas that don’t require much time, but can have a big impact:

 

 

  1. Soak time: Hot bubble bath, calming music, soft lighting (candles) and soak away the worries.  Try adding some Epsom salts and rose oil to the bath water. 

 

  1. Treat yourself: Take an hour or so to treat yourself to a treatment such as a massage, reading or healing session.  We all need some direction, relaxation and energy shift to reset our button. 

    Gentle Warrior is always here to help treat yourself.  To book a distance or face to face appointment with us click here:  http://yourgentlewarrior.com/get-in-touch/

 

  1. Time Alone: Even if it’s a walk in nature, just a bit of piece and stillness to unwind and relax. 

Gentle Warrior 4 Week Xmas Challenge: Week 3 – Tis the season to Give Back

 

Xmas Season many are spending on presents for loved ones and it’s often forgotten about those less fortunate.  Xmas should also be about the time to give back to others, without expecting or wanting anything back in return.  To give with an open heart and for the love of humanity. 

 

 

For Galway – here are 2 ways of giving back this Xmas: 

 

  1. Food Appeal: In Galway the Galway Simon Food Appeal are appealing to the public for donations of non-perishable foods including tinned food, pasta, rice, cereal, tea and coffee, soups, treats, as well as hygiene products, and fire packs. For more information visit:  https://www.galwaysimon.ie/2015/12/07/galway-simon-community-food-appeal/

 

  1. Help the homeless: In Galway Cope Galway host the Christmas Day Swim (Brave the cold so others don’t have to this Christmas).  More information here:  https://www.copegalway.ie/get-involved/events/christmas-day-swim/

Gentle Warrior 4 Week Xmas Challenge: Week 2 – Declutter your Mind

With so much stress, worries, projects and errands leads to a mind full of chaos and clutter.  But a mind of clutter doesn’t help us get to where we want to be, if anything it tires and slows us down.  By decluttering our mind we find a mind of calm where we can start to find our way and move forward.

 

Our brains our complex and the thought of decluttering our mind can be daunting, that is why I’m suggesting we keep the concept of decluttering our mind simple.

 

Here are 4 simple suggestions:

 

  1. Declutter your environment: You may not even realise how visual clutter occupies a part of your mind which causes mind clutter.  Ever notice when things are packed away and clear, how clear your mind becomes?  Commit and declutter even 1 – 2 rooms this week.

 

  1. Go for a walk: Walking and nature helps to clear the mind.  I like to walk around our local lake and take a few minutes out to sit on the bench, enjoy the scenery and breathe in the fresh air.  Calms the mind – clears the head.

 

  1. Breathe: Such a simple yet very effective technique.  Breathe in deep through the nose (as you do so push your stomach out) for the count of 4, hold for the count of 2, and slowly breathe out through the mouth for the count of 4.  As you breathe purely focus on hands.  When your mind wanders, keep focusing on the hands with every breath.  This is also known as grounding yourself (pulling yourself back into your body and focusing on the present moment).

 

  1. Jot it down: If you have endless tasks and things on your mind, it helps to jot them down on paper.  This kind of gives your mind permission to rest as it’s in clear view on your notepad.  To Do Lists help to note all our errands down and frees up the brain.

Gentle Warrior 4 Week Xmas Challenge: Week 1 – Reflect

2018 was a tough and challenging year for many.  Although you may have found it tiring, if you look really closely there were probably some gems to learn from.  December is a great time of the year to reflect on the year past to ensure we learn from these lessons and not to carry them forward into 2019.

 

Here is a simple, yet effective technique: 

  1. Note down all the major events that happened this year. This would be all the things that happened to us that had a big impact on our life (regardless if they were painful or not). 

  1. What could you have done differently that would have been less painful?

  1. What went well in 2018?

  1. What has 2018 taught you?

  1. What recurring habits kept creeping up that you can let go of?

 

 

If you’d like to take this to an even deeper level, then why not join us at the SHAMAN’S GATEWAY INTO 2019 WORKSHOP at Amber Shop in Galway on 16 December from 11am – 4pm. 

Full Details here:  https://www.facebook.com/events/560287771070657/

 

The Shamans gateway_AMBER FLYER

Gentle Warrior Tribe Bone Reading 27th September

https://youtu.be/Q2UFE-2XFLc

Hi Tribe,

This week the Ancestors are showing that some of us are at a crucial point of growth.  When thing are frustrating as it feels like we take a few steps forward and then “fall backwards” again – do we give up or do we push on? 

 

It’s like if we plant a seed and feed it daily, but we give up as we don’t see it sprouting it (just before it’s about to sprout) and so it withers and dies.  The Ancestors are telling you to keep feeding that seedling.

 

This week’s mission: 

 

  1. Make the decision – are you going to keep feeding the seedling so you sprout and grow?

 

  1. Have you outgrown your existing tools? Are the mechanisms you using working or do you need new tools now to take you to the next level?

 

  • Ask your Tribe how they are getting through similar situations.

 

  • If you don’t belong to a Tribe / Community then find one that you feel comfortable in (you are welcome to join Gentle Warrior)

 

 

Do you feel you need more tools?  Watch this space as there is an Online Course coming up providing a toolkit for surviving life’s storms.

Gentle Warrior Tribe Bone Reading week 20 September

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-m38SFe-To&feature=youtu.be

Hi Tribe,

 

For those that followed last week’s mission and have been planning and shifting energy, it is now slowly starting to pay off in some areas. 

 

The main area to focus on this week is relationships of any kind (it can be siblings, boss, partner, friendships, etc.).  You may feel as if you are not being heard or feel misunderstood.  You may even be feeling like you are struggling to understand others.  This conflict and confusion is causing affecting your energy.

 

This week’s mission: 

 

  1. Work on the throat chakra daily:

  • Breathe in white light to heal the throat and breath out blocked energy

  • Chant OM

 

  1. Active Listening:

    • Really focus on what the other person is saying, listen to their words

    • If you understand energy and body language – take it that extra step forward. Are the words matching their energy and body language?  Is there something else their body language and words are trying to say?

The Hunt for YOUR Inner Warrior – COMPLETELY FREE ONLINE COURSE

 

Photos of warriorMore and more people today are feeling disconnected, unsupported, misunderstood and directionless. Most individuals are looking outside of themselves for solutions, when in fact the solutions are inside – in the Warrior that we actually are. 

Being part of a Zulu Tribe in South Africa has been life changing for me. It’s made me look at my Zulu Ancestors, which walked before me, to find solutions to find my inner warrior (the Gentle Warrior). The amaZulu (People of Heaven) believe that “no elephant ever found it’s trunk too heavy”, this is a philosophy our Inner Warrior will be happy to follow.

These are the tribal skills that I am gifting you, to adopt on your journey in finding and integrating your Inner Warrior.  The hunt for your inner warrior – completely free online course.

 

This 6 module, COMPLETELY FREE, Online Course takes you on a tribal journey to:

 

• Find support and compassion through a Tribe and Ubuntu,

• Get to know your Ancestors through finding your Roots,

• Discover your Inner Advisor through the skill of Tracking,

• Meet and integrate your Inner Warrior through the Hunting skill,

• Build a relationship with yourself and your Ancestors through Muthi for the soul and the skill of Husbandry

• Celebrate your journey and previous battle scars through Rite of Passage / Ceremony

 

………. Receive your Next Steps for Survival

 

 

Coming Soon – watch this space !!

Gentle Warrior Tribe Bone Reading 6th September

https://youtu.be/jLG7-Tmeknc

 

 

Hi Tribe,

 

Gentle Warrior Tribe Bone Reading 6th September shows:

August (and previous months) were tough for many, but this week’s Bone Reading is showing that things are starting to take a turn for the better.  It looks like things are starting to look up at last.

 

 

Saying that, our own energy has not necessarily caught up to universal energy yet. 

 

This week’s mission: 

 

  1. There is that need to find the balance of not becoming complacent now (still putting in the work), but finding the time to rest to build up our energy and recover.

When Life is just too Tough

when life is too tough v2I’m sure I’m not the only one finding this year tough.  And I’m not just talking about the amount of blood moons, retrogrades, etc. that’s been going on.  I’m finding that for many of us our challenges are being thrown at us head on, one after the other and with very little to zero breathing space in between.

We all have our story, my year started with miscarriage in January ending my miracle pregnancy and that is a pretty big challenge to kick-start the year off with.  There has been so many other challenges thrown my way leading to a massive amount of energy restructuring going on in my body at the moment and my inner child just not laying down and being unheard this year. 

 

I’ve had harsh words with my Ancestors, cried and shouted, tried to hide from the emotions and gone for many healing sessions with amazing healers.

 

I feel this year, as hard as it’s been, is giving us the GIFT to really rise to our challenges, face them and ascend at a much faster rate.  If we do the groundwork now, regardless of the pain it’s causing, we can take this opportunity to Rise Up and shift so much more than we have been able to in the past.

 

Every time I did Rise Up and this is why:

  • Because I remind myself I am human and that it is OK to feel the way I do, as long as I don’t make it my home.  It’s OK to express my pain as long as I do the work to get through it.

  • Because I don’t want to keep re-living old hurt and habits anymore.  I chose to not push it down now when it comes up.  I chose to listen to it (however it comes up) and then use the tools to hand to shift through it OR if it’s too intense and really deep-seeded than I find the healer that I trust to work with me to get through it. 

  • I take the opportunity to learn from every single lesson that I get through so I can keep growing and find new tools.

  • I’ve started allowing myself to be vulnerable and to ask for support if I need it.  This was a very hard one for me as I’m used to soldiering like a martyr.  I’ve had support from fellow healers, the GW (Gentle Warrior) Tribe, my partner (tribal husband), friends and family. 

  • ….. But of course I’ve also had support from my Ancestors and Guides and we so very often forget that we have support in other realms.  I know I’ve had words with them this year, but I remind myself that they really do know the bigger picture and can see why I need to go through this now and where I’m shining even brighter in my future.

  • I’ve had to listen and rest.  I used to think I could go 100 miles / per, but I’ve realised the energy it steals.  The energy I need to get through these challenges. 

 

Earth is the greatest school where we have choice – we can chose to stay in the pain or to find the tools (or use those we have) to Rise Up, learn and ascend. 

 

Watch this space as I’m in the midst of creating an online course to help anybody who is struggling to Rise Up, take their learnings and ascend faster.